Selected Excerpts
"Despite the apparent wealth of choices, our girls are ultimately presented
with a very narrow, unrealistic set of standards that allow for no alternative.
A seemingly boundless and hermetic culture insists on every female looking
thin, pretty, and sexually available, whether she's a political pundit, a professional
athlete, or a ten-year-old girl, even as it also demands that every girl aspire
to being a wife (lesbian or straight) and mother?nd all while climbing
to the top of her career ladder, becoming a millionaire, and triumphing over
every possible competitor."
From Chapter 1: Impossible Expectations
"Hard work per se is not necessarily bad for children.
But being made to feel like a failure?eing given more to do than they can
reasonably handle, or being expected to achieve at levels beyond their abilities,
or being asked to show adult-level skills in work-flow and time management?em>is bad for children, just as the punishing work schedule that many
families endure is bad for adults as well."
From Chapter 3: Life in the Pressure Cooker
"...A funny thing happens on the way to adulthood. The very qualities
that empower girls as toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary school students
begin to work to their disservice as they reach adolescence. Groundbreaking
studies have shown that for many girls, the very verbal skills, empathy, and
compliance at which they excel can lead to anxiety, depression, and a host of
other disorders."
From Chapter 5: When Virtue Is Its Own Punishment
"Throughout my decades of experiences as a researcher and
clinician, I've seen time and time again how healing?ndeed, how lifesaving?t can be for young people to connect to a broader and deeper purpose;
to become part of a community of people who can 'get outside themselves'
to work toward a common good; to join a world that is larger than clothes,
looks, and grades."
From Chapter 9: Is There a Triple Bind Solution?